You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
