yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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