You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
