it hurts more in the daytime
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
