Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
