Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
