Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
