No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
