So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
