So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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