We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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