in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She needs sedatives and a leash
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
