There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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