I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
