just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
