Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she smelled like a LAN party
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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