Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Randomize
