Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
