he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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