chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
