is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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