it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
