hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
