Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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