I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
