Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize