when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
