how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
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He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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