I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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