Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
