Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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