Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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