Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
