he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
