We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
