Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize