I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
