Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
