do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
