I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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