Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
