how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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