I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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