He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize