I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
