if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
