Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
