Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Boobs speak an international language.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
