What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
