talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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