no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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