I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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