Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize