Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
