WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
