you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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