Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
