its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
