Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
