just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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