I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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